Gutter-cleaning asylum seeker cheats death, maybe taxes too

Written by Annette Curtain

A CUNNING Sri Lankan asylum seeker has been involved in a serious accident after falling from the roof of hardline Australian President Kevin Rudd's heavily fortified Brisbane compound.

It is understood that the illegal queue jumper, posing as a fair dinkum tradesman, was cleaning the gutters at Chateau Rudd when he suddenly threw himself from the roof, demanding Australian jobs, women, unemployment benefits, and probably a plasma screen television too as he hurtled towards the ground.

The asylum-seeking tradesman is receiving get well soon cards and ice cream at a Brisbane hospital. Queensland police were informed about the incident but were unable to take time out of their busy bribe-taking schedule.

A spokesperson for El Presidente said the Rudd family are "concerned, but make no apologies for their extremely hard lawn.”