Insurance company finds cure for depression: sun, sand and strippers

Written by Annette Curtain

FACEBOOK has helped a Canadian insurance company discover a cure for depression, paving the way for the social networking behemoth and other civic-minded corporations to solve the ills of the world.

Nathalie Blanchard, 29, took long-term sick leave from her job at IBM more than a year ago for severe depression.

After noticing that her monthly benefits had ceased to be paid, Ms Blanchard called her insurance company, Manulife. She was both shocked and delighted to learn that she had helped Manulife find a cure for depression.

Manulife had been on Facebook with the intention of giving Ms Blanchard a virtual poke and buying some sheep for her virtual farm, but figured it may as well check out her photos too. As it trawled through her albums, Manulife found images of Ms Blanchard stuffing money in the sequined g-string of a Chippendale, celebrating her birthday and bathing in the sun in little more than a bikini.

Shockingly, Ms Blanchard was observed to be smiling in all of the photos.

It was previously thought that those suffering from clinical depression refused to observe birthdays and would avoid sunlight at all costs, not unlike vampires. The illness was also understood to cause previously healthy people to lose all interest in sequined g-strings.

However in light of these observations and in an embarrassing blow to those with actual medical qualifications, Manulife is confident that it has cured the disease once and for all.

Psychiatric patients across the country are now being clad in skimpy swimsuits and sent outside, where they are given wads of cash to stuff down the sequined unmentionables of gyrating strippers.