A FEMALE woman suing her scheming boss thought he had programmed a homicidal cybernetic organism to assassinate her and maybe steal her coffee mug, a tribunal heard today. Tracy McGee, 29, told an unqualified supermarket assistant that a killbot looking like her former boss Garth Griffin, 59, threw a pineapple impregnated with a grenade at her in the street in May this year.
She is suing her former employer for his collection of executive desk toys, after quitting her £500,000-a-year job at Killbots ‘R’ Us as one of the gals in the typing pool in February because someone kept using her coffee mug.
Struggling to read his own barely legible notes to Central London Employment Tribunal, Paul Mifsud, mild-mannered supermarket assistant by day, chutzpah-rich barrister by night, said: "She does not feel very safe. She believes that they will send someone out to throw more death pineapples at her.
"She called police in May 2009. There was a man, probably a cyborg, outside waiting for her to come out. He looked exactly like her boss, who is a convicted narcissist, and she figured he had made the new killbot prototypes in his own image then sent one to finish her off.
"He drove his car up and down the road six times, throwing various explosive pieces of fruit at her. She went into a restaurant and asked them to call 999, and also mentioned that there was free fruit going outside.”
Tobias Poshington-Waffleby, counsel for Mr Griffin asked: "Is it your belief that Mr Griffin was trying to program a cyborg to kill you so that your coffee mug would finally be his?"
Miss McGee replied: "Yes."
The callous but dashingly handsome Mr Poshington-Waffleby questioned whether her belief was a product of "an over active imagination".
She replied: "No. If you knew how nice this coffee mug was you would probably understand a bit more."
The hearing continues.
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